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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29721045">Six Times I Loved you Before i Told you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelawliet/pseuds/angelawliet'>angelawliet</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Characters Name Spelled as Viktor, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Proposal Rings, Sweet and short, Viktor is supportive, YUURI IS VERY ANXIOUS, barcelona, both of them are ridiculously in love with each other, characters name spelled as yuuri, first I love yous, no beta we die like men, they are both just afraid, yuuri is kind of oblivious</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:59:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29721045</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelawliet/pseuds/angelawliet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A retelling of what led up to their first “I love yous”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Six Times I Loved you Before i Told you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I think I love you Yuuri.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence. A quiet beat of what Viktor could only assume was Yuuri thinking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuuri always took his time with his thoughts, that was one of the many things Viktor had learned about him over the course of their… relationship? He wasn’t quite sure what to call it. It had started out innocent, just an over enthusiastic coach and his anxious student, but when he had started to notice Yuuri’s lingering glances, how he would redden considerably when Viktor stared back… it was then he realized he couldn’t push away the thoughts about his lovely Yuuri that had been frequenting his mind more often than not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first time Viktor had made any sort of “advancement” on Yuuri that was more than just his odd way of teaching was after the Hot Springs on Ice event they had held after Yurio’s appearance in Japan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only a hug, a long, long, long hug that ended up with Viktor more holding Yuuri than anything else sure, but a hug nonetheless. He hadn’t thought much of it at the time, Viktor was quite touchy to begin with, but looking back on it he concluded it must’ve meant a lot to Yuuri. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After all, Yuuri did become more complicit to Viktor’s previously unwanted touches after that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second time Viktor considered his romantic antics a success was before they had left for Yuuri’s first competition. Almost every night upon his arrival without fail, Viktor would knock on Yuuri’s door and say they should sleep together, a way to bond as student and coach. He didn’t really expect him to say yes after the first couple rejections, but if anything Viktor was persistent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So when Yuuri finally </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> say yes, his eyes downcast and fingers fidgeting, Viktor didn’t quite believe him. But he smiled wide as he always did and pushed through the doorway, half-hazardly grabbing Yuuri’s hand and pulling him into the other’s bed with him. He giggled when they landed on Yuuri’s bed with a soft </span>
  <em>
    <span>thump</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Viktor only then realizing how small the younger’s single bed was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took this as an opportunity though, one he wouldn’t let go to waste.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Say, Yuuri, your bed is quite smaller than I imagined…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started, glancing at Yuuri who was already a little red from being pushed into his own bed by his former idol.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you surely wouldn’t mind if we cuddled right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Viktor continued, fully facing Yuuri now with a cheeky smile adorning his face. His silver hair was a little mussed from the rush into bed, he silently hoped he still looked nice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A couple seconds of Yuuri stuttering, red faced and trying to get out an answer (which Viktor thought was adorable to be honest) led to Viktor simply smiling in understanding and pulling Yuuri into his arms. The second he did, Yuuri stopped talking, still blushing as hard as ever though. He had clearly done something right Viktor thought, humming idly. They fell asleep like that, Yuuri snuggled up into Viktors chest, legs tangled under the covers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every night in Hasetsu after that was the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The third time was the biggest jump in their growing closeness, a spike in what was a smooth sailing sea. Yuuri had been required to compete in the Japanese Qualifying Competitions since he had lost at Nationals, and being his first real competition back after such a loss, Viktor could tell Yuuri was nervous as all hell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried everything he could think of to calm Yuuri’s nerves; pep talks, hot springs soaks, even treating him to food! But nothing seemed to push Yuuri out of that bubble of fear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Viktor knew Yuuri would do well, hell he was confident Yuuri would get gold for crying out loud! He just couldn’t get the younger to see that for himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The morning of the short program, Yuuri still looks like he’s on the verge of crying every time someone mentions him. They’re sitting in the hall just outside the rink, making idle chat with the fellow competitors, waving politely at those that pass by. When Yuuri makes a noise of discomfort at being asked about he thinks he’ll perform today, Viktor sighs and laces their hands together, something that had become common between the two, and drags him away into a quiet corner where no nosy interviewers or other skaters could bother them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuuri follows him, only making a hum of confusion. He trusted Viktor a lot more now, though he still got a little flushed around him occasionally. He wasn’t sure if that would ever stop really.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Viktors already talking before Yuuri can even comprehend the hand slipping out of his own and coming up to cup his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yuuri you should know by now you’ll do fine, you’re miles better than these other skaters, this should just be a warm up for you… you know how talented you are right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Viktor speaks in a hushed tone, like his voice was only meant for Yuuri at the moment. The younger had tears welling up in his eyes already. He hated feeling like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… uhm, well…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t quite get an answer out, because Yuuri </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>think he was good enough to win. Viktor could tell that easily enough. He looked down at him, studying him, trying to figure out why Yuuri couldn’t see how… </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only thing Viktor hadn’t tried was, well….</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the others forehead, an act of appreciation and love. A whisper of,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Skate for me Yuuri, if not for yourself. You have what it takes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuuri had won gold that day just as Viktor said he would.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cup of China is when it happens for the fourth time, when Viktor willingly makes himself fall for Yuuri more in hopes the other feels the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The morning before Yuuri’s free skate had been a disaster. He was nervous again, a stomach churning anxiety he could never seem to get rid of completely. It seemed so much worse this time, he could hardly even stand to look at Viktor without collapsing in on himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t fail now, not when he was so far into the competition already. He couldn’t fail Viktor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the older had caught on to what was going on, he hurried Yurri down the stairwell into the garage. Dark, quiet, but most importantly separated from everyone else. Just the two of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now Viktor wouldn’t be the first to admit it, but he really wasn’t that great with handling other’s emotions, especially ones as intense as Yuuri’s. But he had to try didn’t he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except, when Viktor tried this time, he ended up making Yuuri cry. Oh god he had made Yuuri </span>
  <em>
    <span>cry</span>
  </em>
  <span>, just minutes before he was set to perform. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yuuri! Oh Yuuri no please don’t cry, I wouldn’t actually leave you, I’m sorry,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuuri’s breath comes in sobs, a heap of tears and feelings he is. Viktor holds him tightly, trying to wash away the tears he had not meant to cause.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shhh, shh it's okay, it’s alright Yuuri i’m not going anywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand carding through the younger's hair, trying to soothe him, the other wrapped firmly around him. He really didn’t mean to scare the other skater like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Viktor just,...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuuri’s voice was small, barely above a whisper and choked from his crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just need you to believe in me more than I do in myself. Just… stand by me. Please”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Viktor stood quietly, still holding Yuuri. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just, stand by him?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he didn’t quite understand, not yet, but he nodded and hugged Yuuri one last time before bringing him up to the rink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fifth time happens not long after the last, only a few minutes after to be exact. Viktor was still nervous to see how Yuuri would perform, but the ladder seemed much better after crying. He seemed more loose, Viktor thought, like crying must have released whatever tension he was carrying around before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His free skate went well, he touched the ground on his triple axel, but he didn’t seem to let that get to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Viktor was cheering, smiling watching on. Yuuri really did look beautiful out on the ice, like he belonged there more than anywhere else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was near the end of his programme Viktor really got caught up in watching him. His eyes followed the younger skaters every movement, widening when he realized what jump he was preparing to do in place of his quadruple toe loop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held his breath without even realizing it. Counting the rotations as he spun in the air and… he had done it! Viktor was shocked to say the least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A quadruple flip in the last stretch of his performance, no sane man would try that. Not to mention it was Viktor’s signature jump! The more he thought about it as Yuuri finished his routine, still entranced by him, the more he realized what it meant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuuri had done that for Viktor. He had done it to surprise him. He covered his face with his hands, to hide his embarrassment or pride? He’d never know. But when he looked back up he was already running to the kiss and cry, watching as Yuuri skated towards him grinning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I do good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuuri had to practically shout over the cheers of the audience as he got closer. Viktor smiled softly and nodded, opening his arms for Yuuri to fall into them as he always did at the end of their skates. Except, unlike the other kiss and cries, this time Viktor pushed Yuuri forward onto the ice with a real kiss, knocking him down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed there for a couple of seconds, just smiling and processing what happened. When Viktor finally pulled back up to look at Yuuri, who was very red but smiling very wide, he said,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was the only thing I could think of to surprise you more than you surprised me”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even his voice sounded smiley, Yuuri thought. Viktor was all smiles for him. Yuuri just hummed appreciatively in response, still giddy off the kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They held hands the whole way back to the hotel that night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sixth and final time was in Barcelona. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Viktor could easily tell himself he loved Yuuri now, what with their stolen kisses when no one was looking, but he was scared. Scared Yuuri only liked him as Viktor Nikiforov, the Living Legend on Ice, and not just… Viktor. Just a person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he kept his thoughts to himself and cherished what he had now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tiny snowflakes dropped on the pairs as they walked along the streets, a little tipsy and very happy. They had spent the whole day shopping and sightseeing, being with each other in the lovely Christmas atmosphere. A choir was singing something not too far away, and all the lights looked beautiful in the dark, Viktor thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuuri took his hand with no warning, not that he minded it, and led him up a few steps to what seemed to be a chapel of some sorts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Viktor was thoroughly confused, but just as intrigued. He did love surprises after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuuri looked quite serious, nervous too. What was he going to do? Had he done something wrong and Yuuri was going to leave him? Viktor’s mind was racing with all the unwanted possibilities.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He snapped out of it when his hand was being brought up by the other and that’s when Viktor noticed. Noticed the gold ring in Yuuri’s hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His breath hitched, and his eyes got a little hazy. Was this really happening? He felt like he couldn’t breathe, it was all so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for everything up to now,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuuri slid the ring onto Viktor’s hand as he said it, and now he was almost sure this had to be a dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I couldn’t think of something better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger laughed a little nervously, and Viktor smiled. He felt like if he looked at Yuuri for too long he might die of admiration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no it’s perfect Yuuri. Almost like a marriage proposal huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now Yuuri was still thinking. Viktor had said he loved him. Viktor said he loved him for christ’s sake and all he could do was sit there and wallow in his own thoughts. Did he love Viktor back? Of course he did. That wasn’t the problem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was that why would Viktor, a person so full of good and light, say he loved Yuuri of all people. He knew he wasn’t special, only mediocre at best.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So the only thing he could say, after a solid few minutes of silence, was,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Viktor looked taken aback, clearly not expecting that. He sat up a little straighter and took hold of both Yuuri’s hands in his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean, why? Why wouldn’t I love you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice came out almost as if it was incredibly obvious why he loved him,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re Yuuri Katsuki, you’re you! You make me feel safe and warm and so many things I never thought I would be able to feel Yuuri.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Viktor had let go of the others hands at this point to wave his own around, trying to get across his point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re loving, caring, considerate. And you see me for me, not some award winning title to put on a shelf, but a person. That’s why I love you Yuuri.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>More silence. Viktor hated when this happened. He had said too much hadn’t he? He always did too much too fast and that’s why nobody every stuck around and-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I love you too, Vitya.”</span>
</p>
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